***First off, I have to say I have reservations about posting this. I know it would embarrass the crap out of Lucas if he knew I was putting this out there. But I do want to document this right of passage.***
I had an interesting talk with Lucas today.
It was Saturday, June 19, 2010 @ 2:00 p.m. Alex & Blake were napping. Morgan was in her room drawing. Lucas & I were playing with Rocky in the family room.
Lucas asked me once again how dogs get married. In an odd way, I was glad he asked again because over the past few months I’ve been wanting to open this dialog with him. So I thought, Now is my perfect opportunity to have a little ‘the birds & the bees’ talk.
Deep breath, Jill, he needs to hear this from you.
The conversation went something like this.
L: How do dogs get married?
Me: They don’t.
L: Then how do they have puppies?
Me: Welllll, do you know what sex is?
L: giggle, giggle. It’s when a man & a lady kiss with their shirts off, on a bed & shut the door. giggle, giggle
Me: Actually, they do a little more than that.
L: Like what? giggle
(I have always told the kids that boys have penises and girls have a special/extra place where babies come out. I’m SO glad he already had that background info.)
Me: You know that special place girls have in their privates? The place where I’ve said babies come out?
L: Yeah. (He was starting look a little worried.)
Me: Well sex is when a man puts his penis in that spot. That spot is called a vagina
(Why do I hate saying that word? Did I just say that to my child?! This is so weird.)
L: giggle, giggle. Eeeewww! full out laughing. Gross! giggle giggle.
Me: When people or dogs, or horses, etc have sex, sometimes they make a baby that grows inside the mom until it is ready to be born.
L: So you & dad had sex 3 times? giggle, giggle
Me: Yep. (Gosh this is ackward.)
L: Kelly (a girl in his 3rd grade class) said that if someone has sex when they are 9, they can’t make a baby.
(Nice, huh? We talk about puberty & stuff around here. We tease each other a lot…. like when Lucas is shirtless with his bony, bird chest exposed, we will sometimes say we see arm pit or chest hair. Lucas knows that puberty is when you get all of that hair and start looking like a man.)
Me: Once people go through puberty they are able to make babies.
L: How? giggle
(Ohmygosh. How much do I really want to tell him right away?!)
Me: Okay. You, Rocky, Daddy, and all men have balls, right?
L: giggle, giggle. Yeaahhh….
Me: Once you go through puberty your balls make stuff that allows you to make babies. It’s called sperm. Men’s bodies make sperm, and the sperm is what helps make babies.
L: Can Rocky make babies yet?
Me: I don’t think so. We’re going to have him fixed in a few months so he can’t make babies.
L: So if Rocky has sex with a dog walking by and she has puppies, they are not married, right?
Me: Right. If that would happen, Rocky might not even know he was a daddy. He can be a daddy without being married. There are no doggie preachers marrying dogs in doggie churches. Rocky’s mom & dad live & play together. They are good friends. They have had at least 2 litters of puppies.
(I’m a little surprised the issue of marriage and babies is confusing for him. Alex & I were not married when we had Lucas. Lucas was at our wedding. He knows this & has seen pictures of it. But I’m glad he assumes people (& animals) need to be married to have babies.)
In a way, I am glad he was so giggly. It took the edge off a little bit. And I’m happy he asked questions along the way too. I was worried he’d be frozen in a state of shock & horror.
Later, I told him to ask us any questions about it. I said, “If you hear other kids talking about something and you think ‘What the heck are they talking about?’ you can come and ask us, okay?”
I don’t like that my boy is getting so big. He’s had a lot of important information revealed to him this year. I feel like he’s more of a grown up than a kid sometimes. Today, a caught him pushing Blake on the swings to help him out… so responsible. Love him!
I feel much better now.
Is this similar to anything you’ve experienced? Did you include more information? …Less information? …Didn’t have a talk at all? I’m just glad it’s over!
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: TheActivityMom
June 19, 2010 at 8:52 pm
I thought you handled it beautifully! I was chuckling and then I realized that is going to be me in a handful of years.
I'm thinking you should tell him not to hang out with the girl that is talking about 9 year olds not being able to get pregnant. lol=)
Heaven help us all. How old is he? I know I'm coming up on this talk with my oldest, I just keep waiting for it to come up naturally, and I'm always glad when it doesn't.
I really hope my husband is around when it does.
Oh wow. I'm embarrassed just reading. Ha. I can't IMAGINE having this talk with a son. It will be hard enough with my daughter.
You did a great job — brave!
I think you handled it better than I would. At our house there have been more discussions on how babies get out than on how they get in. I know it's only a matter of time though.
Twitter: Mommynanibooboo
October 13, 2010 at 11:50 am
Oh, lady you are so brave. I don’t know what I’m going to do when this time comes.
PS- Baaa
Jenni Chiu recently posted..We’re Totally Ready
I think you did just fine, though I agree with everyone else about your bravery…thankfully I have a few years yet before I get all of those questions from my oldest (I hope)!! And I hope I do as well as you.
PS–Baaa
Lynsey recently posted..I just didn’t know
I think you did great. I had “the talk” with my oldest…and he thought I was the most disgusting person in the world!!! i guess that’s ok….right??
Crystal
from Baaa tribe
Crystal Lien recently posted..To Grandma With Love
Sounds you like you told him what he could handle. And in an honest way he could understand. Wish my mom had done me the same favor. I didn’t know what sex was until I was 16. Yes, I was raised in a box.
Anna-Elizabeth recently posted..Marcel Week 20
This brings back memories of a similar talk with my daughter. She was in third grade and her best friend’s mom was pregnant. She asked me “how exactly did that baby get inside Debbie’s tummy?” I proceeded with the birds and the bees talk. At the end of my talk she looked at me and said “Mom, that’s disgusting!” I replied “Hold that thought … for about 20 years.”
Grams recently posted..Bath Time
I haven’t had to have ‘the talk’ yet as my baby is only 2, but he is starting to point out mommies and daddies everywhere. Oh and he is trying to figure out who has penises and who doesn’t. Fun times!
Good job on ‘the talk’! You should be proud.
Stopping by on your SITS day.
Christine recently posted..Cupcakes Everywhere!
Twitter: AdoTheMomalog
March 19, 2011 at 4:49 pm
I haven’t had “the talk” with them yet – they still think you have to be married to have a baby. Thanks for this post.
HAPPY SITS DAY! (-:
- Ado
Twitter: BrootFloon
March 19, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I’m impressed. Haven’t hit that talk yet but it will be my turn in a couple of years! Well done.
Broot recently posted..The answer to the lie…
Great job. I used the book “where Did I Come From?” and answered questions from there.
I just stopped by from SITS; hope you’ll do the same.
Nice work, Mom! That is exactly how I plan/hope my discussion goes when we get there, our girl is only 2 now. I wonder how soon it will happen though because she is already aware that girls have vaginas and boys have penises and she loves to point it out (with perfect articulation!) at every. single. opportunity. Sigh. Somewhow I fear we might be having this conversation next week!
I love Lucas’s fixation on the marriage between dogs. SO sweet!
MOMSICLE VIBE recently posted..Friends
Twitter: CoconutPalmDsgn
March 20, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Great job! I’m not looking forward to having it with my three year old and I am really, really, grateful the difference between girls and boys talk was held by my sister-in-law when she bathed the cousins together for the first time. I admit it, I’m a chicken! lol
Happy SITS Day!
Cheers
- CoconutPalmDesigns
CoconutPalmDesigns recently posted..Sunday Shopping With This BNR Treasury
Twitter: decondemand
March 20, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I don’t remember the talk at all so I am assuming I never got it. I think you handled it perfectly, *giggle, giggle*.
Marie Cole recently posted..Spring BreakPart 2
Twitter: annieandisabel
March 21, 2011 at 12:05 am
We sat our 11 and 9 year old boys together to give them “the talk” It worked out well because my 9 year old is kind of the family joker but my 11 year old is serious. In fact, I had tried to bring this topic up with him before and he kind of got upset so we never got far. With my 9 year old it lightened up the subject and we had a great talk!!! We will have to do it again with the younger 2 boys in a few years but I know it will be much easier. So hard to do it that first time!!!
Anna & Selena recently posted..Annie & Isabel Gives Back to Support Breast Cancer Patients
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Thanks Broot. Good luck with “the talk” in a few years.
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Anna & Selena – It makes it muuuch easier when it’s kept light.
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Marie Cole – I never got the talk either so I was determined to explain things to my kids.
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Coconut Palm Designs – Way to get out of have one of many of ‘the talks’ LOL!
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 6:55 pm
I think the talk went well. Yesterday the 2 of us discussed exactly what a period is. I just wish someone would have told me this stuff at that age. Good luck!
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Eva – Good idea using a book to reference. Thanks for stopping by here.
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Ado – Good luck when you do have ‘the talk’ with your kiddos. And thanks so much for stopping by!
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Christine – The 2 year old (not shy) vocabulary is always sure to entertain. Have fun with that! Thanks so much for stopping by.
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Grams – LOL! I love it. Sex is a pretty gross concept for those young minds. Thanks for stopping by & sharing your story.
Twitter: haglerhappening
March 21, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Anna-Elizabeth – I was the same way. I don’t my kids to be as clueless as I was.
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