I’m done.
Having kids, that is.
I am absolutely positive I will not have any more children. Alex had permenet measures taken when Blake was 3 months old.
Blake’s 24/7 colic for 6. straight. months. was all it took for me to know for sure I was finished.
Before I became pregnant with Blake, it was all I could think about – having another baby. I’d see other pregnant women and smile, remembering how amazing it felt to feel the little person move within me.
I’d see other babies and think about how good it would feel to cuddle with them & smell the tops of their heads.
But I shouldn’t blame Blake completely for my mindset.
Alex & I always said we wanted 3 kids. I always wanted 2 boys & 1 girl. It seemed like a perfect place to stop: 3 healthy kids; 3 little miracles.
I can honestly say that for the past 4 1/2 years I have never once had those ooey-gooey feelings again.
When I see a baby, I really don’t want to hold it or baby talk to it or have anything to do with it.
Maybe as more time passes, I’ll change my opinions. I just think for now, I’m too consumed with the mommyhood thing still.
I felt no twinge in my gut when we sold the crib. I have kept a few toys & clothes from the kids’ baby years, don’t get me wrong.
Actually, now that the rocker is out of Morgan’s room (because she just got new furniture), we have nowhere for it to go. I can’t part with it just yet. That was the chair I practically lived in for so many years.
It’s kind of in the way in our family room as I type. So I’m not a total baby scrooge.
Am I the only one who feels like I put in my time already? Is that bad?
{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
We’re done, too (permanently, medically). And I felt the same way waiting to be pregnant with Jack Henry…I KNEW we wanted at least 3 kids, so I couldn’t wait to be pregnant with him.
However, I DO still get that twinge when I see a pregnant woman…not because I want another kid to raise, but because I’ll never BE pregnant again. I loved pregnancy.
So parting with our stuff has alternately been hard and easy; I’m ready to get the crib out of here now that we no longer have any need for it, but the rocking chair is staying in the guest room, probably forever. Parting with the baby clothes was hard, but it’s done. But getting rid of old toys/gear just makes me happy that we’re gaining space for the boys’ growing collection of stuff!
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Twitter: keralita13
February 16, 2011 at 10:19 am
Hi there! Found you on SITS and am really glad I did.
I am SO done too. I knew I was done after the very first one. My son was not colic per say, but had a milk sensitivity and I had to use the hypoallergenic formula. He never slept. I went nuts. My hubs and I had “the talk” about waiting at least another year before we had another baby and then…yep, we were pregnant! Needless to say, we got my tubes tied during the C-section!
Twitter: keralita13
February 16, 2011 at 10:20 am
oh, yeah- stop by my blog too! http://www.marriedtoageek.net
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Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 10:27 am
EXACTLY how I feel re: never being pregnant again. Purging the ‘stuff’ always makes me happy.
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 10:29 am
It’s a nice feeling after having things medically ‘taken care of’ isn’t it? Thanks so much for stopping by.
NO, your not crazy or abnormal. I hate to say it, but I hated being pregnant until I felt movement. I was overweight to start out with and then packed a few extra on. My kids were big and I was very uncomfortable~ I think my thinking also comes from being an older parent. Greg and I both were going to get fixed, but do to insurance, lol. We both were done at 2. I love the 2 healthy, beautiful ones I have and wouldn’t trade them for anything, mos of the time, just kidding. I do home day care now and I love the babies, but love to see them go home as well. Babies are a BIG adjustment and take alot of time.
As Matt has said before…If we had Elizabeth first we would have been done! I think God was telling me that five was enough when she came along. She was a sickly little one her first year with RSV and other breathing issues. She had breathing treatments everyday minimum twice a day. Not to mention the kid never slept. I was dead tired that first year of her life. My other four girls never were like that. They slept from either 6 weeks or 10 weeks on through the night. No troubles.
I still look at pregnant women and love seeing them and touching their bellies. I hate that I will never feel that way again, but I am also relieved that I will never feel that way again too!
Now that we are completely out of the diaper stage, I am really happy that we decided to stop having kids! Ten years straight in diapers was plenty! I am ready to enjoy the children I have and watch them grow. No more babies!
Twitter: jessicatorres4
February 16, 2011 at 10:49 am
You are not alone. I have two kids and I don’t want anymore. I can’t handle anymore. I do not want to go through being pregnant, nursing, teething, and all of those other things again. I experienced them twice and I’m done. I am now enjoying my children as they grow up and that makes me happy. More kids would not make me happy.
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Twitter: undomesticme
February 16, 2011 at 10:53 am
I think everyone is different.. And well you have your wonderful two boys and a girl, so of course, you’re ready to be done!
I can’t wait to be pregnant, and have a baby, but that’s because I don’t have any yet. I want 3 as well.. But two girls and then a boy, haha. 
d, the undomestic housewife recently posted..Where the crazy- sleep-deprived woman rambles on…
I think after 6 months of colic I would be done too!! We want 3 kids and are currently at 1 with one on the way. I would rather just getto the fun part and skip the whole pregnancy birthing thing. But, I gotta pay my dues so I have a long road ahead.
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Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Stacy – You’re right those early months of pregnancy seemed to without any benefits. It was nice to feel him/her move.
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Mandee – Yep! Blake would’ve been an only child if he would’ve been the first. I am excited too, for this stage of parenthood. No diapers, sippy cups, strollers, etc is a nice thing.
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Jessica – It sounds like we’re on the same page. If I try to picture a baby thrown into this mix, I’m not sure I’d survive!
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 1:57 pm
D – Well said. I absolutely wouldn’t change a thing. It’s a season of my life that I’m done with. And for the record I really did enjoy being pregnant. When pregnant with my 1st, people would always ask if I was nervous. I said, “Not about the labor & delivery, just the mothering part!”
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Katherine – I was just looking for a picture of Blake during those first 6 months. We really didn’t take many after the first week – when the colic kicked in. I guess it was a dark time for all of us if Alex didn’t even take pictures. LOL! I sometimes think I should be a surrogate, I like the pregnancy part, but the crying baby part not so much.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting more kids! Moms are not machines.
We’re coming up on Mike’s snippy appointment and I couldn’t be happier.
None of my kids had colic and I’m done. If either of them had Blake’s 6 months, I would be extra-done!!
Enjoy your two babies!
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Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 2:07 pm
You’re right: Moms are not machines. The snip snip is a good thing. LOL! =)
So no kids here yet- but I get the twinge sometime, probably because I’m in grad school right now and totally CAN NOT have any kids, so when all my friends are pregnant, I get that, ” I want one too” feeling. I’m sure I’ll feel the same as you when it’s all said and done.
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I just sold the highchair and big stroller. We are so done.
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I think you’re amazing and maybe a little crazy for having 3 kids! I have two and that is enough for me! So like you, I’m done! Stopping by from SITS! : )
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I think the lack of ooey gooey feelings is a sure fire sign to know you are D-O-N-E!
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I am jealous of your sureness. My kids are 11 and 13, so I will not have any more (simply because I’d be bogged down with babyness instead of enjoying that last few years before my children move out to college – AHHHH! Did I just type that?) Still. I kind of wish I’d had more. And I don’t know if it’s selfish. Maybe I don’t want to admit I’m getting older, or that the baby-making part of my life is over?
I just don’t know.
I blogged about my lack of “closure” last month. So I envy you. But not too much to wish you congratulations on being DONE!
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I’m looking forward to being pregnant again (Peanut is our only child right now). But we already know – we are totally done after 2. I think it’s good that you know!!
I guess because I didn’t have a choice in the end, my husband and I separated, I feel like the decision was made for me. Maybe that’s a good thing! LOL I have kept stuff, but only because I hate buying things I already have so when I become a grandma I’ll have stuff still: high chair, crib, board books.
The one thing I do miss is when I see a mommy nursing a baby. I miss that intimate and sweet time with my baby. So precious.
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Twitter: haglerhappening
February 16, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Is it weird that after 4 1/2 years, I sometimes feel like I let down my milk? It freaks me out!
Like someone else said, I’m a little jealous of your “sureness”. I go through phases where I think I’d like to have one more and then the next week I think it is the most ridiculous idea ever. I love the stages my boys are in and that we can pick up and go so easily. I love that we can afford things that we probably wouldn’t be able to with more kids. I love that there is one kid per adult when we go on trips. I love that they are pretty self-sufficient and I have some time for myself again. But, when I think long term…..I think when I’m old I’d want more than 2 kids. I was the oldest of four kids and I love when we all get together (now all married and with kids). My husband is one of 2 and its just not as fun. I often wonder if I’m being selfish for not having another?
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 17, 2011 at 10:07 pm
Bigger families do make for extra fun holidays. I know! Have 2 more. K & K are buddies, then #3 & #4 would be buddies. There you go. =)
I felt that way after every baby, but my husband wants the ever elusive boy, and three girls later… he’s still hugging and snuggling the beautiful princesses we have, but sighing over a little boy. I’d like to sell the crib, but I don’t think he will! That being said, I’ve been excited to have every baby, once they got here! I loved picking names, buying clothes, etc. I got excited with each baby! That being said, If you put in your time, you put in your time. Its not a bad thing to think so!
I am so, so, so glad that I’m not the only one who doesn’t really want to hold other people’s babies. Been there, done that, the smell doesn’t even get me anymore. I’m just so relieved to be done.
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You ain’t alone sista! I had my tubes tied after number 3 was born. Not an ounce of regret since! I’ve gotten rid of most of the baby stuff since he’s 4 1/2 yo now but I still have my rocker too. It’s one of the those nice Cracker Barrel Rockers so I’ll never sell it. Ironically, it’s in the way in my living room too but I figure I’ll give it to one of the kids when they are grown…if they want it. At least then it’ll be out of my way, in a nice home and they’ll have a piece of me after I’m gone.
Glad to know I’m not the only mama out there who’s “done” with having more kids! lol
~Jenn
Twitter: haglerhappening
February 23, 2011 at 10:02 am
Cool! We’re twins!! I am actually glad I’m so confident in my feelings. =) No regrets – like you said.
She had breathing treatments everyday minimum twice a day. Ironically, it’s in the way in my living room too but I figure I’ll give it to one of the kids when they are grown…if they want it. I think everyone is different..
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